Emo Me -_-

Hay.. one of those days na hindi mo maiwasang mag EMO.. minsan sa dami ng problema ko hindi ko alam kung matatawa nalang ba ko o ano.. kasi alam ko choice ko naman to.. kung baga effects ng mga actions ko before.. no one to blame sabi nga nila.. kaya nga minsan pag may problema ko.. mas gusto ko nalang sinasarili kahit parang sasabog na ung dibdib mo.. gusto mong ilabas pero wala kang mapaglabasan.. minsan kasi iniisip mo.. kahit naman masabi mo sa ibang tao o malabas mo ung sama ng loob mo oo gagaan pakiramdam mo.. pero may mangyayari ba?? sige hihingi ka ng advice.. tanong susundin mo ba? kaya minsan pag ganito.. yosi at tamang buntong hininga nalang ang trip ko.. thinking this too shall pass.. wala naman permanente sa mundo.. good or bad.. temporary lang kaya all i can do is pray na malagpasan ko lahat ng mga nararamdaman ko ngaun.. minsan din pag ganito nararamdaman ko.. ayaw kong lumalabas ng bahay.. kasi alam ko clouded ang judgement ko so baka kung anong katarantaduhan lang ang magawa ko and makes things even worst.. so mukmok for a while and pray for a better day...

Pero pano din kaya un no.. ang hirap kasing makahanap ng taong ung tipong hindi ka pa nagsasalita bigla ka nalang aakapin at sasabihing 'i know' .. tipong no questions ask.. tipong tama at mali hindi ka nya i-ju-judge... hay basta un na un..

Burgers and Shake

I was waiting for the bus earlier today when suddenly i remembered something. I grabbed my phone and started typing.

This may sound stupid but it did made me smile. So let me share my story that happened not so long ago.

When i was 19 i was barely home, I was always out with my friends somewhere. But when I am  home i rarely go out of our house so I don't know all of our neighbors. Plus people see me as a snob, i don't normally talk to people in our street. I do have a lots of friends, they just don't live anywhere near the vicinity, plus I don't like the kids living nearby. For me they're just immature and always fooling around. I'm more fond of talking with older folks, with them you I can get a real conversation. Not just about boys and school.

People would come and go in our street, and it would be months after i realized that they already left. I grew up in the city, in a middle class town. Our neighborhood was full of kids roaming around and people outside their houses chatting and stuff. It was fun, but it was too much for me to handle.

One fine day i went out so see whats going on in our neighborhood, I felt like its been a long time since i take a look around. I was standing in front of our gate watching people do stuff, kids running, some were buying at the grocery store, some were just there sitting and hanging out. 

After few minutes, a childhood friend approached me, we were just standing there laughing and catching up. When suddenly I turned my head and there he was. He was so sexy, i don't know what he was doing, but he looks like he was washing something, i just don't know what it was. I remembered he was wearing a summer shorts and he was half naked. He was kinda sweaty, he was so dreamy. He is tall with light tanned skin and he had an athletic body. His hair was the boy next door type and he looks so mysterious. He looks like Jordan Herrera of the "Power Boys" they we're like a boy band on our time.

I asked my friend if he was new in our town, my friend said that he was just here for few months. He was applying for a job on a cruise ship. I'm friends with his aunt so it feels so awkward and to top that his uncle was hitting on me even though everyone knows he was married. I was just casual when I asked about him, but deep inside i was drooling.

Most of the time when i have a crush, i don't let anyone know about it, just some of my closest friends. And even when my crushes talks to me i tend to be snobbish, I just don't want to see me easy. But in reality I'm screaming on the inside. I know most of the girls are like that.

After that very day, every time when I come home I always look at the window hoping that he would just be there doing whatever. Our house comes before theirs, when i realize what time he passes by, I will sit on the chair next to our window hoping he would take a second look at me. I love the way he smiles, when he does, I feel like it melts all my troubles away.

One Saturday morning, i was doing something outside our house, i looked so dirty when a friend of mine told me that someone wants to meet me and be my friend. I was really puzzled, who could it be? So I asked her, she just pointed her finger on her left and said "Him". I looked at that direction and I saw him he was smiling. I want to fall on my knees that time but I managed to keep my poise. I just smiled back and told my friend that if he wanted to meet me he should have the guts to do that for himself, he doesn't need a bridge or whatever. 

So my friend left and I saw her talked to that guy. After a few moments, I saw him walking to my direction, I don't know what to do, and I'm so not cute at that moment. My hands were dusty and my clothes were dirty. So he came over and introduced himself. His name was AMIN, I think it was short for Benjamin I'm just not sure. He offered to shake my hand but i refused, I told him that I don't want his hands to get dirty. We talked for just few minutes, I told him that I was doing something and he should go. So he took my number and he told me he would call.

That night i was surfing the net and was just getting ready to bed when my phone rang. It was Amin, it was really funny coz we hardly know each other but yet we talked like we have known each other for a long time. I distinctly remember that he told me he was hungry and he asked me if we could grab something to eat. It was almost midnight but then again I agreed to go out with him. So we went out went to a 24 hour burger joint near our place and order burgers and shake.

This "Midnight Dates" lasted for few weeks. I would just sneak out and grab midnight snack, then we would just sit on a gasoline station near our place and talk till dawn, and he would walk me home right after.

Eventually my aunt found out what we were doing, some of our nosy neighbors saw us and told my aunt.  so she told me not to see him anymore. we still talked on the phone though. But i guess the flame just stopped burning. He stopped calling and one day I stopped seeing him. A friend just told me that he got a job offer on one of the cruise ship that he was applying and I haven't heard from him since then.

It was sad.. but maybe it just wasn't meant to be..

Could Have Been (Part 1)

Ring!!!

"Hello?" Chloe answered the phone while her eyes were still fastened.

"Chloe wake up!! It’s almost 7 o'clock and you're still sleeping?!! WAKE UP!!" Chynna sounded so restless and ecstatic...

Chloe and Chynna just moved in to the city, they just finished college and is on a job hunt. The two met when they were college when Chynna got into a huge dispute with her friends, since then the two shared everything together. They were both party animals so they just hit it off instantly.

"Chynna you’re such a pain am still sleeping you know!! What’s the big rush anyhow??!!” Chloe retorted while slowly getting off bed.

"So What’s Up??" she added.

"Well I just bumped in with one of my ultimate crush in high school and gurl... He was HOT!!" Chynna responded.

"CHYNNA!! You wake me up just to tell me you crashed into a hot guy please! Cant that wait for later... I was just having the most wonderful dream... uhg!" Chloe sounded so pissed.

"Don't be mad Chlo... please... We’re meeting tonight at 8.”

"So!! What’s that got to do with me??!!" Chloe asked while lighting up a cigar.

"You can kill me tomorrow... but please I'm picking you up in 30 minutes.” Chynna replied with a huge grin.

"You're going out on a date, and you want me to tag along??!! Are you nuts?" Chloe retorted

"Actually... Vlad and his cousin are in town for a couple of weeks, so... am setting you up with his cousin..."

"No... No... No... No... I don't want another set up chyn. The last time you set me up was with a guy who had 3 tits!" Chloe shaking her head gradually.

Chynna was laughing hysterically when she remembered the guy Chloe was talking about. "Chloe that guy was driving a Ferrari, he's loaded!!"

"Yeah! Loaded with tits!" Chloe punched a comeback

"Ok chyn... I can’t make it at 8, just tell me where you guys are heading and I'll be there around 9ish"

"I love you chlo!! I owe you big time!! Promise this will be last time I'm setting you up. We’ll wait for you at jailbreak club ok... ciao"

Chloe wasn't your average chick, she is free spirited yet she is in touch with her values. She practically grew up alone, her parents died on a plane crash when she was young. She was an only child so she grew up with her grandma. Most of her closest friends call her OB coz she tells everything that happens to her; she shared every little detail of her life with them. Some calls her a bitch coz she's very vocal when its comes to sex, she calls everyone hypocrites, she knows almost everyone do it they're just so afraid to admit it. Most of the guys find her intimidating not with her looks but with her attitude. They say her attitude is bigger than her. Chloe was petite and she looks very young for her age.  She rarely smiles but when she does it brings sunshine into a dark room. Chloe was never classy, she grew up with practically nothing and only thing that keeps her from studying was the full scholarship granted by the university.

Chloe arrived at the club a little early; it was Friday so the club was bursting with people. She spotted a nice parking spot near the entrance when a guy riding a motorcycle cut her off.

"Jackass!!" She bawled.

The guy didn't even bother to look at her instead he just took off his helmet, gave her a hand gesture and walked ahead.

"Grrrr.. the nerve with some people!!"

It took her nearly an hour to find a parking spot. The street was filled with people so most of the cars can barely move.

As she entered the club she spotted Chynna right away, she was just at the bar with hand full of beers.

"I hate this place on Fridays' I cant even find a decent place to park, and this asshole cut me off so I have to drive two blocks away from here!! I hate this!! Wait, why you’re the one here, where’s your date? "

"Well his cousin just arrived so I told him I’ll buy the drinks and his cousin is KA-UTE!!" Chynna retorted with excruciating tone.

Chynna love to date good looking men, and most of the men she dated was either a cheater or a user. She was from a well-off family, so she never mined if she always pays the bill for them.

"Shut up!" Chloe replied sarcastically.

Chloe helped Chynna carry the drinks on their table, when suddenly her phone rang. She immediately drops the drinks on the table and rushed outside.

“Was that Chloe?” Vlad questioned.

Chynna nodded.

“Where is she going?” he added.

“Don’t worry she’ll come back.” Chynna replied.

“Looks like you’re all having fun, Hi I’m Chloe” She waved her hands to Vlad when she arrived at the table

“Hey” Vlad retorted.

“So what did I miss?” She added.

“Well, we were just catching up. And Eric just went to the bar to get some drinks.” Chynna answered.

“So Chloe, I heard you and Chynna were classmates in college, what’s your major by the way?” Vlad butted in.

“Yeah we’re classmates in some subjects, I took up advertising.”

“Hi guys!” Eric breaks in while putting down the drinks.

“So you’re Chloe, I’m...”

Chloe turned her back and remembered that Eric was wearing the exact clothing that the rider was wearing, she rudely interrupted.

“The jackass!” with full mockery.

The 3 of them was surprised with the reaction of Chloe.

“Beg your pardon?” Eric was dumbfounded.

“Well, you’re the nice guy who stole my parking spot!” Chloe was infuriated.

“Oh… That was you, I’m sorry I have no idea.” Eric sounded very apologetic.

“Let me make it up to you, let me give you a ride home.” He added.

“With this skirt, I don’t think so.”  

“Ok, this is awkward, what do you say guys lets call it a night?” Vlad break the ice.

“No, you guys stay I’ll just go ahead, I need to wake up early tomorrow, and I have an interview early in the morning.” Chloe replied.

“Are you sure chlo?” Chynna added.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine, See you tomorrow guys… Nice Meeting you Vlad and ERIC. Bye Chyn, take care. Call me ok”

TO BE CONTINUED……

Who wants to be a Filipino. - I Do!

I don't want to start a debate on anything but i was reading this article entitled "Who wants to be a Filipino?"  This guy gave some good points and honestly he was just being honest on what he sees.I know this was published long time ago but it doesn't hurt to comment right..

I just cant stand the way he called the people who answered yes  on his question  (" If you're going to be reincarnated, do you still want to be a Filipino?" hypocrites. If he is going to ask me the same question i would gladly and proudly say YES.. why? yes most of our KABAYAN's try to have an English accent but does it bother anyone or offend someone in the way they speak the language? when i was in school a teacher told me that if i would make a project don't stop with OK go for best, so whenever I'm making a project i just don't stop with OK, so whats the relevance you may ask with the first subject. When we were in school teachers used to teach us with proper grammar spelling, pronunciation and diction, is it possible that the Filipinos tend to imitate American or British accent because they just don't want to learn the language they want to learn how the people from those country who speaks it? possible right.And so what if we speak like that??!! When our old folks talks funny people make fun of them and when we speak with a different accent were "Trying Hard".. Men!! make up your mind people!!

Wearing designer clothes or products made from other countries, oh come on, this has been dealt many times before and does it make us less of a Filipino, IMO we are human we are just admiring what other people invented, designed or thought. we want to explore, we want to experience different things, its just like food if we're eating hot dogs every single day we would want something different every once in a while right..

As history is concern, yes a lot of other countries have colorful history, true because every place has its on story.some people focus on other things that his hands cant grasp and yet they don't bother to look under their noses. our country has a very rich history. yes way different from the English and the french men because we too are different from them. just look at your hands each even your fingers are in different sizes what makes you think that we should have the same history as them? different is not bad, this whats makes us special, this whats makes us unique.

Yes most of the Filipino lack elegance, what do you expect in a 3rd world country right, i mean how could we think of elegance when our stomach is empty? not a good idea isn't it? 

Hanging out with other people who we think will be inferior than us is just a low blow, why do you even hang out with them? so you can feel superior that's racist. IMO we hang with other people to learn their culture and to be friends with them not to gratify ourselves in who's who, and what's what..

A lot of people say that filipina's are good for nothing, we are just mail order bride, prostitutes, nannies or domestic helpers. Philippines is a 3rd world country people will do anything to survive, its like survival of the fittest. if you will just lay around all day, you will starve and die. so people resort to anything just to feed the hungry mouths waiting for them at home. as for the prostitutes and mail order brides they all tell different stories, and not all of it are good. some of them are just victims of the situation and who are we to judge. we are just human, we have our own stench that we want to cover and besides all the countries have prostitutes, why we focus on ours when its clearly a global problem. and for the nannies and and the domestic helper, keep your heads up! don't let anyone pull you down, you are not hurting anyone, you are the angels of every household, if not for you who will teach children manners while their parents are away. if anyone discriminates you and your job just tell them "yes I'm a nanny/domestic helper, but you're not my boss, so you don't have the right to treat me that way!"

As for the corruption, its ancient history. Its like dieting, its easy to say what to do but when your on the situation it feels like hell to not eat, everyone's giving you opportunity so why not take it. am not saying that corruption is good, i know its very bad, but if we need something to change we need to start from ourselves and stop pointing fingers at everyone you come across with. then if you think you already changed your ways then start to persuade others to change or affect others in your own little ways. I have watched this movie entitled "PAY IT FORWARD" the lesson of the movie is very nice, its like instead of repaying the people we owe (not money) why don't we pay it forward instead of drowning on "UTANG na LOOB" pay forward to someone who need assistance the most..

As a person, if i want to wear a dress made from UK, eat Japanese food or play cricket, does it make me less of a Filipino? i think not, we can not measure the heart of a true nationalist just because we don't wear "BARO'T SAYA" everyday. some people do wear those but in their heart they are stepping on the pride of other Filipino what good would that be..if people want to be reincarnated as European, American or other race they fancy, what makes them sure that they wouldn't see some flaws into it. they have done it in this life what makes them sure they wont do it in another..

just remember.. you can never know what you're missing until you lost it.. good day everyone :)

Self Reflection

Sometimes we ask ourselves why people treat us badly, why we have bad relationships or bad friends. but it never occurred to  us that this is just simply a reflection of how we treat ourselves.

We always think negative thoughts about ourselves like we are not good enough, we are not pretty enough or we are not smart enough. but we didn't even realize that if we think of ourselves like this what more other people do. you let your fears and insecurities eat you up until nothing is left in your self esteem.

You let other people humiliate you, bully and boss you around like you deserve to be one, we never treat ourselves that we are people too that needs attention just like everyone else. you always say yes to things you really don't wanna do and say no to the things you want to do, because to think that you don't deserve this. Believe it or not no matter who you are, you deserve to be treated equally just like everybody else.

Act like a princess and others will treat you as one.

Homesick

Ang hirap pag malayo ka sa lahat.. sa pamilya, sa kaibigan pati sa special someone mo. ok lang sana kung meron kang napaglilibangan at napagsasabihan ng sama ng loob ung tipong kilala ka talaga hindi ka huhusgahan kung ano mang sabihin mo at isipin mo. ung tipong yayakapin ka nalang bigla at sasabihin sayong "OK LANG YAN"

Hirap maging OFW all work and no play, ang hirap magpretend na OK ka pero ang totoo unti unti kang namamatay minsan pa nakakasama ng loob ung mga so called friends mo maaalala ka lang kung may kailangan sayo usually pera ang ibig sabihin nito.. feeling ata nila na porke nasa ibang bansa ka eh sumusuka ka ng pera.. ang hindi nila alam sa bawat perang binibigay mo eh isang meal na hindi mo kinain.. o isang bagay na gustong gusto mo pero hindi mo mabili dahil mas inuuna mo ung NEEDS nila.. pero minsan minamasama pa kasi hindi ka nakapagbigay.. hindi mo maaming hindi mo pa kayang magbigay dahil sobrang gipit ka pero hindi mo inaamin.. nanjan ung mangutang ka para lang may ipang-bigay sa kanila at para hindi sumama ang loob nila sau kasi GUSTO MO SILANG MAKITANG MASAYA.. oo wala ka dun pero binibigay mo ung part ng buhay mo na alam mong un ang kaya mong ibigay.

Ngaun homesick nanaman ako, ang hirap labanan nito hindi mo alam kung anong magandang gamot mahirap ang mag-isa maraming hindi nakaka-appreciate ng ginagawa namen pero kung alam nyo lang kung gano kahirap labanan ang lungkot. pwede kang umiyak pero hindi ka pwedeng kainin  ng lungkot mo kasi talo ka pag un ang nangyari papahirapan mo lang ang sarili mo. minsan pinipilit mong tumawa pero naplaplastikan ako sa sarili ko pag ganon kasi alam kong hindi ako OK.. tatanungin ka kung kumusta ka ang masasabi mo "OK LANG.." pero ang totoo unti-unting namamatay ang loob mo..

Minsan gusto ko ng sumuko, gusto ko nalang umuwi pero naiisip ko pano ko paguwi ko anong dadatnan ko? parang takot ka ng sumubok kasi hindi mo na alam kung anong pwedeng mangyari dahil sa tagal mong nawala.. 

in some cases hindi ko masisi ung mga taong nagkakaron ng relasyon sa iba kahit  meron clang mga naiwan sa pinas kasi sobrang lungkot pinapantakip nila un sa kalungkutan na dala ng pagiisa. pero hindi ko sinasabing lahat.. (sana sa mga gumagawa nito,, lagyan nyo ng limits.. wag kakalimutan may mga naiwan kau..) 

pauwi na ko maghahanap ng gamot sa kalungkutang ito.. pipiliting tumawa at ipakita sa mundo na masaya ako pero sa totoo lang umiiyak ang puso ko..

Carriers

so i was watching the movie Carriers it was about a contagious disease that doesnt have a antidote or something the movie was really sad.. its like leaving your love ones alone so you can survive.. it was like the saying of the vampires (in vampire movies) "what is forever if you will spend it alone?".. i mean if there isnt anything left in this world why on earth i would kill or leave the ones i love so live an empty life.. what is there to live for? so you can live alone and empty.. IMO i'd rather die with the one i love rather to live my life alone and miserable.. am just saying...

3 Day Challenge - Day 3 7:40AM

Hi so this is the last day.. strong urges are coming to me specially yesterday when am so bored.. well i know now the trick is just keep yourself busy..

well yesterday i had a terrible migraine so i decided to make a chicken soup for dinner so i was eating while watching The Condemned which is a very violent movie btw.. but the message their putting out was true.. then after watching it i watched Wild Child which is so funny.. then i went to sleep..

well this is the last day.. hope i can still resist the temptations.. tata!!

3 Day Challenge - Day 1 1:37pm

its 1:37pm here.. cuz of boredom somethings urging me to use social networking site.. i can still control it.. let see where will the wind will take me.. im still distracting myself in reading different things hope i dont get bored soon..

Heres what am reading guys!!
McDonalds History

3 Day Challenge - Day 1 9:21 AM

I posted on FACEBOOK and MYYEARBOOK page last night that i will be absent for 3 days on all the social networking site.. this will be from today till thursday (Sept 14-16) i will be back on friday.. It will be a big challenge for me.. i know its just 3 days but believe me am an addict so im on both pages the whole day kinda like 24/7 thing.. so i know its gonna be hard..

So.. here's what am gonna do I will make a journal from time to time on whats happening to me on the whole 3 days so am not gonna get lost or something..

I just came in the office and opened firefox.. so i skipped on typing FACEBOOK on my browser (yey me!) coz normally thats the 2nd thing i type after entering the office.. so i checked my mails and all... and now back to work.. more updates later!!

Tao nga naman

Minsan nakakainis noh kasi meron taung ginagawa at alam natin sa sarili nating para un sa ikakabuti ng lahat pero may mga tao talagang will pull u down when everything starts to clear up. parang nde cla masaya na nakikita kang nag gro-grow. What hurts me most eh ung tipong kailangan nilang i-judge ang buong pagkatao mo without knowing the whole story, napaka one sided diba. well its the truth kahit anong gawin natin meron at merong taong ganon. wish ko lang na maging open cla sa mga bagay at wag maging stereotype!

Do Not Read

Minsan nahihirapan na ko.. nde ko na lam ang gagawin ko sa problema ko ang dami dami parang walang katapusan, parang hindi pa ko gumising sa umaga na may smile ako at tipong kuntento ako sa nangyayari sa buhay ko.. alam ko wala akong dapat sisihin dahil lahat ng nangyayari sakin ngaun eh disisyon ko, ang hirap lang kasi dahil parang wala ka ng makuhang dahilan para lumaban pa. Minsan umaasa ako na isang araw matatapos din problema ko, para kasing walang katapusan, parang paulit ulit lang. kahit na minsan pinipilit mong gawing tama ang mga bagay bagay pero parepareho pa din ang kinakalabasan. hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pang dalin to wala naman akong mapaglabasan dahil malayo ako. ayaw ko ng magsabi sa pamilya at kaibigan ko dahil alam kong napapagod na din cla sa pakikinig. Minsan gusto ng sumabog ng ulo ko sa kakaisip walang katapusan. iniisip ko hangang kelan, hindi ako nawawalan ng pagasa pero tao ako nanghihina din ako paminsan minsan.sad part pa ung kaisa isang taong pinagkukunan ko ng lakas nalayo pa sakin.. as a person minsan kailangan natin ng nag co-comfort satin diba.. isang hug lang parang nababawasan na ang problema mo.. ang hirap ng magisa ka lalo na sa lugar pang napuntahan mo mahirap makakita ng tunay na kaibigan. karamihan nagdadaan lang. hindi mo naman inaasahan na tulungan ka sa lahat ng problema mo pero makinig lang sau ok na. ang bigat ng nararamdaman ko ngaun sobrang stress na ko.. nde ko lam kung hangang kelan pa ko lalaban...

Lost Soul

Kung babalik ka sa oras kung kelan nagsimulang dumilim ang buhay mo, gagawin mo ba?

Paano kung kahit ilang beses mong balikan ang nakaraan iisang daan pa din ang nilalandas ng buhay mo? 

Paano kung ito ang kapalaran mo? tatangapin mo ba o magpupumiglas kang makalaya sa dilim na bumabalot sa iyong pagkatao?

Paano kung ang tanging dahilan updang lumiwanag ang kinabukasan mo ay ang daang napasikip at kailangan mong magsakripisyo ng isang bagay na isipin mo palang na mawawala sau ay ikakamatay mo na, paano kung un lang ang tanging paraan? gagawin mo ba?

Paano kung pagdating mo sa iyong parooonan ay huli na, nakita mo na ang liwanag pero hindi ka naging masaya, babalik ka ba?

Paano kung unti unting kinakain ng kadiliman ang puso mo, at binabalot ng puot ang iyong pagkatao, ano ang gagawin mo?

Paano kung ang tanging taong nagpapasaya sayo ay sya mismo ang humihila sayo sa lusak na kinalalagyan mo, pakakawalan mo ba sya?

Paano kung dalawa lang ang pagpipilian mo ang guminhawa o ang lumigaya, anong pipiliin mo?

Isang seryosong usapan

Mahirap maging isang pilipino, lalo na kung trabaho ang paguusapan. hindi ako nagiging nega o whatever pero ito ang totoo, masakit man pero kailangan nating tangapin ang katotohanang laganap sa buong bansa.

Hindi ka COLLEGE GRADUATE kaya wala kang lugar sa mga prime establishments ng bansa, pwede ka lang sa mga middle class business na alam naman nating mahirap umangat lalo na sa panahon ngaun ng taghirap. Minsan nga mahirap din kasi may college degree ka na nga, hindi ka pa makapasok ng trabaho, una munang tinatanong kung saang eskuelahan ka galing. Sus naman, kung nde din lang sa isang mamahaling eskwelahan at sa isang State U ka nangaling eh wala na, pahirapan na ng pagkuha ng trabaho. 

Sa isang fast food chain o pabrika lang ang bagsak mo kung ganito. Hindi ko sinisisi ang pilipinas, ang bansa ay isa lamang biktima ng mga taong naninirahan dito. Tao ang tumutuldok sa kung hangang saan ka pupunta. Oo inaamin kong nasa pagsisikap pa din yan, pero anong magagawa ng isang mamamayang tulad ko kumpara sa mga dambuhalang multi-national companies. wala diba.

Napakaraming kumpanya sa atin ang hindi tumitingin sa kakayahan ng isang tao, mas tinitignan nila ang back ground o ang STATUS QUO ng isang tao. Bakit ba sa ibang bansa nagsisiksikan ang mga pilipino?? Hindi lang dahil walang enough na trabaho sa pilipinas, dahil napakalakas ng discrimination sa atin kumpara sa ibang bansa.

Gaya sa bansa na kinalalagyan ko ngaun, merong mga pilipino na hindi nakatapos ng kolehiyo pero BIG TIME.. bakit?? kasi hindi dahil sa well compensated sila, isa lang un sa mga dahil pero BIG TIME cla dahil ina-acknowledge ng kanilang mga employer ang kakayahan nila hindi ang kanilang pinangalingan. Eh sa atin, 10 taon ka na sa trabaho, hindi ka ma-promote at ang isang galing sa prestiyosong eskwelahan na 6 na buwan pa lang sa kumpanya ang nakakakuha ng promotion..

Hindi ako bitter na tao pero kung laging ganito, pasasaan tau?

San Andres

ok lang sa mga nde maniniwala, believe me.. i was there and it was really scary!! so here it goes..

i happened 5 years ago in san andres manila,around midnight or something, im not sure bout the exact time.. me and my friends were chillaxing in a basketball court it was getting kinda boring so we decided to go to pearl’s place, one of my friend roxie was pregnant that time. pero makukulit talaga kami…
pearls’ family owns a sari sari store, balak naming maginuman sa kanila kaya dun kami pumunta. ok naman ung haus nila, pero ung sa room ni pearl medjo eerie ung feeling kasi ung floor is made of old wood then there’s this huge window na sira, although meron naman xang screen but still it was sira.. tapos sa likod nun was an old junk yard.. as in totaly madilim and nakakatakot..

then un nga.. nde pa kami makatulog so nagkukulitan kami, after a while may narinig kaming tik tik sound.. it was coming from the right side of the house away from the window, nde namin xa minind.. so tuloy pa din kwentuhan namin..
after a while may narinig na kaming parang nag land sa bubong nila, so nagsimula kaming matakot, kasi wala ngang sarahan ung bintana natatakot kami baka biglang bumulaga nalang samin kung anu mang creature un..
then it got silent again.. tapos ung tiktik nasa right side naman ngaun pero nde na ganon kalakas ung sound.. after a while narinig namin someone was scratching the walls.. ung sa labas nung bintana… imposibleng may makakapanik na pusa or tao dun para i-scratch ung dingding ng haus nila kasi wala naman pwedeng tungtungan..
wo what we did.. nag kumpulan kami sa kama nya, then kumuha kami ng malaking gunting.. kasi sabi nung friend ko takot daw cla dun dahil pamputol sa dila nla or something..
tumigil lang ung visitor nung malapit ng magumaga.. akala nga namin papagalitan kami ng mom ni pearl kasi ang ingay namin.. we dont want to disturb them naman kasi nakakahiya.. then nung bumaba kami sabi nung mom nya “may aswang kagabi” the pearl retorted “panu mo nalaman?”
sabi ng mom nya…
“kasi ung lana (some kinda oil na nag bu-bubble pag merong malapit na aswang)bumubula kagabi”

Vladimir

do you believe that whenever we get attach to something, we also get attached to every strand of its existence??
well i do, something happened to me 5 years ago, it wasn’t that scary, well i wasn’t scared but my family was..
i started when my aunt lend me her apartment, it was owned by my family, we have this 4 story house. at the front is where my aunt lives and there’s this small entrance on the side to go to the apartment area. we got like 7 studio’s, my other aunt owns one b/r apartment on the 3rd floor that she let me use while she was away.. my aunt was staying in jeddah by the way so she rarely use it..
it was really cozy, everything i need was there, there was a kitchen, bedroom and a bath.. i even got my own lady to do the cleaning and the laundry for me once in a week. it was a dream come true for every college student like me. so i have time for my extra curricular activities.
Before i move in to her place, im always out with my friends and i rarely go home, and whenever im home my friends always stay in my place to sleepover or something.
My aunt’s place was vacated for 4 years or so, it was an old bodega that she decided to turn into a apartment.

as i stated earlier i wasn’t at home all the time but when i move into her place, believe me, i rarely go out, when i want to have a party or something, i always ask my friends to come over and do it at my place. it was very unusual coz im a party animal and i would miss a chance to got out and have some fun..
most of the time when im alone, i don’t feel scared coz that the last thing i want to be.. but there’s this feeling that your being watch by someone or something, i just don’t entertain the thought coz im one scardy cat!!
at night when im about of sleep i feel like someone is peeking out of my toilet and watching me, so what i do keep my radio on and my lights on so i can go to sleep, its like distracting myself from the scary thought..
The more i stay in that place the more i get away from things.. there’s like these force that let me so comfortable and so attached it doesn’t want me to go anywhere.. sometimes i miss school, Sunday masses and even parties which is very unusual..
my grand parents hate the place, coz they feel that whenever they stay there for more than an hour something or someone is repelling them, like IT doesn’t want them to be there.. not only them but other grownups as well..
one night one of my friends decided to stay over, so we were chatting and making jello.. at the kitchen there’s a window where you can see if someone is knocking. we were busy making jello and laughing when suddenly someone knocked we were dumbfound coz it was 3am and we were not expecting anyone. we peeked at the window but there’s no one there. we were sure we heard someone knocked 3 times!! she was really scared but i told her to get over it..
then one fine afternoon i just arrived from school, my neighbor was like really shock to see me he asked me if i just arrived, and i said yes, he said “i thought you were home coz someone was playing loud music inside” i was really shock coz the only key for that place is with me and since its in the 3rd floor its impossible to climb up the building. so i told him “manong wag mo naman akong tinatakot..”
these last incident was the cherry on top, i dont know if its a nightmare or something coz in 1 year that ive been staying on that place, i never had any nightmares..
so i was sleeping on the couch one lazy afternoon, i didnt have hard time breathing or difficulty in moving, i was relaxed when this guy went on top of me, he was smiling, he wasnt really scary, he was white tall and handsome but the thing is he had fangs like a vampire. he was asking me how am i and i said i was ok and he was telling me he liked me and stuff.. when i asked his name he said VLADIMIR.. right after he said his name with a blink of an eye i was awake but in the same position and situation as i was in my dream or what ever it is was. on the back of my mind i kinda liked him..
after this incident, i started having abdominal pains. we went to a doctor and they said nothing was wrong with me, i was like dying in pain but they cant detect what was the cause of pain. we been to 3 hospital and they told me the same thing.
then my family decided to consult a quack doctor or as we call it albularyo.. the albularyo said that something wants me, and the bad thing is that this something knows i want him too, i dont know why but i was really drawn unto him. the albularyo said that its was just a matter of time before he takes me.
the session lasted for like an hour, she let me drink water with like little salt and she was chanting on it before she gave it to me to drink. and believe it or not, i felt relieved.
after that incident, they blessed the house and let my little cousin stay with me.. vladimir never bothered me after that.. and i know my life was back to normal..

First Day of School

Pasukan nanaman.. panic buying nanaman ang mga students sa pamimili ng school supplies sa mall, sa palengke, sa divisoria, you name it.. kahit saan na may nagbebenta ng school supply im sure patok ang business nila ngaun.

I remember when i was in high school, cge siksik sa national bookstore, kahit hindi mahulugang karayom ang place cge pa rin sa siksik. magdadabog ka pa pag hindi catleya ang nabili mong notebook!! maarte kasi ako nun, kailangan ung maganda, kailangan ung one of a kind. tapos eto na bag naman!! jan ako hindi maarte, ok lang kahit walang tatak or mura basta cute, medjo kikay kasi ako when i was in high school.. eh masisisi nyo ba naman ako eh un ang time na todo pa-cute ka para mapansin ka ng mga crush mo.


Excited nanaman ang mga students!! xempre mixed emotions na, pero for sure hindi sila sa school excited.. sus i've been there noh!! i know.. student life has its own diversities, uu we need to study and all but thats not the whole story.. they're more excited on seeing their friends, crushes and even our enemies.. iniisip mo din kung meron ka bang magiging cute na classmate, masasagot na ang katanungan mo nuong summer.. like "pumayat kaya si ____" or "cute pa din kaya si ____" .. pwede ding "maganda na ko now, sana ligawan na ko ni _____"... o diba totoo naman..

First Day of school, first year, wala akong kakilala, as in new faces lahat, Torres is for high school only so talagang alienated ako.. xempre hindi din maiiwasan ma-intimidate sa mga ibang students, lalo na mga seniors.. feeling mo mabu-bully ka any monument!! hahaha.. maliit talaga ko noon pa man.. kaya feeling ko naglalakihan ang tao around me.. parang na-culture shock ako kasi parang ang dami daming tao at ang gulo gulo. imagine isa ka sa seniority sa old school mo tapos dito back to zero ka nanaman. pero eventually i made friends un nga lang iba ang friends ko nung first day kesa sa mga naging friends ko for the whole school year.. but it was ok.. i had a very good time naman eh.

So yun, natapos ang school year.. 2nd year started, eto medjo ok na. medjo mayabang ka na, kasi meron ng mas bata sau.. sus it happens noh, kung baga big sister ka na kasi, pwede ka na din mang bully, pero nde naman ako bully.. bait kaya ako.. :D

3rd year.. jr na.. ehem dalaga ka na.. by this time feeling mo mahaba na talaga ang hair mo.. at isa pa mahaba na ang sungay mo.. kasi feeling mo you know whats it to know bout ur school, and in some cases the students. sa school kasi namin madami kami kaya medjo malabong mangyari to..

4th year.. eto na.. last year mo na sa high school, excited ka na makita ang mga classmates mo.. crush or bf/gf mo.. kahit sino pwede mo na i-bully.. kasi senior ka na.. madami ka na kakilala.. madami ka ng kapit.. 1st day of school palang iniisip mo na ang js. prom and graduation. iniisip mo kung magiging prom queen ka or magiging legend ka sa school nyo.. para sau last straw mo na to..

Pero in every first, there's a last.. i never regret every first of my life, kasi it made me who i am today.

School is more than just books, its the experience that we remember as we grow old. uu naaalala natin ung lessons ng mga teachers pero mas naaalala natin kung anong ginawa natin at kung cno ang mga kasama natin diba..

Looking back at my high school pics makes me wonder how my old friends are, jan mo mapapatunayan na madami kang makikilala, pero only few will stay.

THS Batch 2001 Page Admins

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Hay Buhay.. Parang Buhay..

"why am i fighting to live, if im just living to fight? why am I trying to see when there aint nothin in sight? why am i trying to give when no one gives me a try? why am i dying to live, if im just living to die?"

Galing to sa kantang Runnin' ng late rapper na si Tupac Shakur. Kung iisipin mo ang buhay napaka ironic diba.. may mga bagay na nanjan pero nde mo naman kailangan, pero ung mga bagay na wala un ang hinahanap natin.

Cguro talagang human nature na un, craving for something u dont have, eh panu mo nga naman mapapahalagahan ang isang bagay na araw araw mo na nakikita, ika nga nila, ur already used to it.. wala ng something special, at lalong wala na ang feeling ng excitement. pagkatapos pag nawala naman ung bagay na un, iiyak iyak ka.. dun mo malalman na importante pala..


Kagaya ng mga tao sa buhay natin, madalas nde natin sinasabi o ine-express kung gano cla kahalaga kasi lam natin nanjan lang cla.. tapos pag namatay cla (knock on wood..) saka tau magkakandarapa ng pag-iyak.. nde mo lam minsan kung ka-plastican nalang o ano.. xempre masakit talaga.. pero come to think of it.. do we really grieve because we lost someone or we're grieving coz that someone went ahead of us..?? nalulungkot ka kasi naiwan ka.. hindi ba napakaselfish naman nun.. 


im not saying na masama ang umiyak.. napaka impokrita ko naman kung sasabihin kong nde ako iiyak pagnawalan ako.. pero all im saying is we should learn how to express our feelings, kung galit ka magalit ka, kung malungkot ka umiyak ka, kung masaya ka tumawa ka. dont hold back, kasi malay mo too late na pala. at least alam ng mga taong mahal natin what we really feel for them hindi ung kung kelan wala saka ka magnagangangawa.. 


Kagaya din ng mga nagmamahal, ung torpe o ung mga hesitant, xempre minsa nagho-hold back tau kasi ayaw natin ng feeling of rejection, and believe me i had my moments.. (ouch un!!) pero diba, we need to face our fears kasi we'll never know what will happen next.. malay mo, head over heels pala sau ung tao pero like u hesitant din xa.  tapos pag nakita mo na xa kasama ng iba manghihinayang ka.. 


Kaya make up your mind people, anu ba talaga gusto mo.. ung tipong laging may what if sa end ng bawat sentence mo.. or kahit masakit close book na, wala ng chapter 2 and hindi ka na aasa..

JEJEMON!!!

i was reading my tweets this morning.. tapos lagi kong nakikita ung word na JEJEMON!! nag post pa nga ko sa facebook page ko.. ask ko mga friends ko kung anu meaning nun.. hahaha.. funny talaga.. nde ko lam kung tumatanda na ba talaga ko or what!!  but i just read na it means alien language like.. "EeHhLoW" nyetang yan hello lang pala.. parang mawawalan ka ng hininga pag sinabi mo un.. as in effort kung effort!!

And what really funny is.. sikat na sikat sa mga new generations ang ganitong language.. nde ko nga lam kung cnong alien ang nagpauso nun.. before pa nauso yan.. i was viewing mg sis page on friendster.. (la pa xa facebook nun.. whehehe..)
 natatawa ako pag nababasa ko ung "jajaja" or "jejeje" that time din sabi ko anu ba to.. do they mean something or what.. nyeta again.. tawa pala un.. toinkz!!

HIndi ko nga alam baka pag balik ko ng pinas.. ma culture shock na ako.. hahaha.. kasi ba naman masyado nang nagiging techy ang mga pips.. im techy din naman pero i wasnt aware of those alien language thats taking over our country.. specially the younger generations..

One time nga, i was chatting with my older sis sa YM.. believe it or not.. she was speaking the same language!! na shock talaga ko kasi she was 4 years older than me.. then she was talking like that.. feeling ko tuloy ang tanda tanda ko na.. ung uso lang kasi sa time namin was EPAL and NENANG GATA.. at least diba.. understandable pa din.. pero ung "e0wSsZz pOwhhZzmUsZtAhH nUah pOwhHzz kEowHsz?".... mapapa HUH!! at i mean HUH ka nalang..
before paiklian pa ng txt kasi la pa unli nun.. pa " HU U" lang diba.. pero ung "AaAiIiSsZzzz GwAn0unhZz PouuHzZz Buhh?!!" wadapak!! to the point na nde mo na talaga maintindihan ang sinasabi nila..

Believe me.. i dont hate them.. im in the middle of natutuwa and natatawa.. nde mo kasi alam kung nagpapatawa cla or nagpapacute lang.. hahaha..

ZaHhLaHhMaTh Za PUgBaBasA... whahaha.. nde ko lam kung tama ba.. pero at least i tried diba.. parang engot lang.. whahaha.. peace out!