Monday, September 20, 2010

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings


email from nishant govindan.

Cigarette: A Pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. 


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.


Divorce: Future Tense of marriage.    


Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference: The conclusion of one man multiplied by the number of present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power..


Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make other believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet".

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO. Instead of the first letter word.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich,

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Computer Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such mails.

No comments:

Post a Comment