40 Things Men Want From Women

1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you are wrong.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.
3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.
4. If you think i am speeding now, you should see me drive when you are not in the car.
5. If you are truly interested in us, dont play hard to get.
6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.
7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me “once.
8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if Iam inside.I love you less with each syllable you utter.
9. i am hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable,theyre your best sign that i am not a whack job.
11. dont be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked aint pretty.
13. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you are nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
14. I dont ask for directions because i am just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
15. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no,it doesnt always have to lead to sex.
16. I just may lie to make you feel good. dont be angry about this. You really werent looking for the truth anyway.
17. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
18. If I offer my help while you are getting ready,it means you are late.
19. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
20. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.
21. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.
22. Unless were meeting my parents.
23. When you call us at work just to chat,We are not really listening; We are checking our e-mail.
24. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesnt need to be a mini-skirt; its been a long winter.
25. We dont mind being told we look good. Just dont call it a cute outfit.
26. We love ponytails.
27. The first time? We are as nervous as you are
28. Make us laugh and well want to hang around.
29. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.
30. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.
31. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message
unless you use the words naked” and waiting.”
32. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.
33. Anytime you cook for us, We are happy.
34. No, I dont remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I am a guy, not a tape recorder.
35. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
36. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
37. We have a keen sense of imminent danger.
It sounds like, Do you think shes pretty?
38. Dont rely on us for keeping you up on the news.
39. Never say, I know you better than you know yourself. Nobody does.
40.I will leave this one to your imagination! Well girls now you know !!!

KILL THE BLOODY DANES (Graphic Images)

Email forwarded by Mr. Ferdinand Rima. 

DENMARK: WHAT A SHAME, A SAD SHAME.
THESE PICTURES HAVE TO BE SEEN AROUND THE WORLD. THERE IS NO CRUEL BEAST THAN MAN!

This brutality happens every year, Dantesque, bloody slaughter in the Faroe Islands, which belongs to Denmark . A country supposedly 'civilized' and a EUROPEAN UNION country. For many people this cruel practice is unknown, how insensitive! This bloody slaughter is just to attend Moz to 'show' entering adulthood! It's absolutely incredible that nobody dares to do something to prevent this barbaric act that is committed against Calderon, an intelligent dolphin who has the peculiarity of approaching people out of sheer curiosity.

Forward this to everyone, PLEASE! Let the whole world know.
 

In my opinion.. their really sick people.. im not stereotyping just those people who kill those poor whales.. :'( 

 

Noon At Ngayon

Collection of funniest noon at ngayon punchlines from the net.

NOON:     Paikliian ng TXT dahil mahal ang load

NGAYON:  Pahabaan na ng TXT dahil sa mga jejemon

NOON:     EPAL ang tawag sa mga papansin

NGAYON:  PAPAMPAM na sila

NOON:     Pagnaglalakad ka kaibigan o BF mo ang aakbay sayo

NGAYON:  Pagnaglalakad ka bilisan mo, dahil mga holdaper na aakbay sayo

NOON:     Walang malisya kapag magkasama ang 2 lalaki

NGAYON:  Isa sa kanila.. BADING!

NOON:     Nabuhay ang tao ng walang cellphone

NGAYON:  Namamatay ang tao dahil sa cellphone

NOON:     FRIENDSTER

NGAYON:  FACEBOOK

NOON:     Ang mga OFW sa Middle East kadalasan pumupunta

NGAYON:  Nasa JAPAN na lahat cla

NOON:     Pataasan ng pantalon

NGAYON:  Pababaan ng pantalon

NOON:     Uso ang Penpal

NGAYON:  Textmate na

NOON:     Kinakabahan ka na pag aaminin mo sa tatay mo na may syota ka na

NGAYON:  Magulang na ang kinakabahan pag nagka syota ka

NOON:     Madaming tao sa carinderia

NGAYON:  Nasa Starbucks na cla.

NOON:     Ang mga lalaki ang pumupunta sa bahay ng babae para umakyat ng ligaw

NGAYON:  Hindi pa kau nagkikita syota mo na

NOON:     Kailangan ang lalaki ang napapa-impress sa babae para sagutin xa

NGAYON:  Dapat magpa-impress ang babae para maligawan xa.

NOON:     Pagdadalaw ang lalaki sa GF nya 10PM pauwi na xa

NGAYON:  10PM parating pa lang xa

NOON:     Ang mga artista nagpu-politika

NGAYON:  Ang mga Politiko na ang artista

NOON:     Pagmay BETAMAX kayo maykaya ang pamilya nyo

NGAYON:  Pag BLU-Ray ang gamit nyo mayaman kayo

NOON:     Sa 25 pesos mo, pwede ka ng makabili ng chicken joy

NGAYON:  Sa 25 pesos mo, pamasahe mo lang galling ng trabaho

NOON:     Pag summer, in ka pag nag BAGUIO ka

NGAYON:  In ka Pag nag BORACAY ka

NOON:     Noon game and watch lang ang hinihingi mo sa magulang mo

NGAYON:  Naka PSP ka na may Nintendo Wii ka pa

NOON:     Astig ka pag naka ISLANDER ka

NGAYON:  Ipon ka para may pang HAVAINAS ka

NOON:     Ang scandal pang film fest lang

NGAYON:  Ang scandal eh SEX SCANDAL lang

NOON:     Kabataan ang pagasa ng bayan

NGAYON:  LOTTO ang sagot sa kahirapan..

THS Batch 2001 Page Admins

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

101 reasons to stay single

The Big List Of The Benefits Of Bachelorism

1. Everything in your house is yours.
2. You don't have to hide gifts, receipts, and other purchase records in ridiculous places.
3. If you buy something "yummy", you don't have to buy twice as much.
4. The only person you have to dress up for is your boss.
5. Your late nights are all yours.
6. Less stuff to move when you do move
7. One bedroom apartments feel more spacious with only one person
8. You never have to ask for permission to orgasm.
9. Only the doctor can tell you what to eat
10. You decide what to shave and when
11. Valentines day costs less
12. No anniversaries to remember
13. No extra birthdays to remember
14. No extra family to shop for during the holidays
15. No irritating in-laws to deal with
16. You can walk around naked whenever you want.
17. Only your sense of decency has any say about where you leave your dirty clothes.
18. You don't have to share
19. You don't have to change your life because someone else has jealousy issues.

20. The only insecurities you have to deal with are your own.
21. Getting that out-of-state job doesn't hinge on what someone else wants or thinks.
22. The only people complaining about music volume are the neighbors.
23. You can fall asleep anywhere without getting any guff for it in the morning.
24. You don't have to use the "headache" excuse anymore.
25. You don't have to worry as much about the "oops, I'm pregnant" factor.
26. The only person who goes through your stuff is you.
27. The only person who sees your inbox is you.
28. More time to spend with friends.
29. You don't have to live with someone who can't stand your parents.
30. If you want to go for pizza at 3am, no one stops you or asks you why.
31. You can date more freely.
32. The cute secretary is fair game.
33. The whole wedding mess? Yeah, none of that to deal with.

34. You don't have to share your closet with anyone else.

35. You always get to watch what you want.
36. You always get to read what you want.
37. You decide when to crawl into bed.
38. You can throw yourself into bed and snore without dire consequences.
39. No one else's annoying (or disgusting) habits to deal with at home.
40. The only fetishes you have to deal with are your own.
41. You can talk to yourself without people saying "what?" or worrying about your sanity.
42. There are religious benefits, if you're into that kind of thing.
43. Single people can still adopt, if you're into that kind of thing.
44. The only annoying friends you have to deal with are your own.

45. You don't ever have to wonder if you really love the person you live with.
46. There's only one way to do things- your way.
47. You are the master of the thermostat.
48. The only messes you have to clean up are your own.
49. The only disasters you have to fix are your own.
50. If an argument starts, you can walk away... forever.
51. You don't have to make excuses for yourself.
52. The whole "old maid" thing is so last century.
53. Dinner can be as simple as a frozen burrito.
54. When you eat, you buy and cook for one.
55. No one else is going to eat your leftovers.
56. No one else is going to raid your stash of sweets (you don't even have to hide it!)
57. You don't have to share your bed with anyone.
58. You can even eat in bed if you want to.
59. You can decorate the entire house according to your taste.
60. The only person spending your money is you.
61. Three words: Marriage Tax Penalty.
62. The only debts you have to pay off are your own.
63. Kids with single parents can get more financial aid.
64. Bickering couples are at best a relieving reminder and at worst hilarious.
65. Less pressure about body weight.
66. Married people are fatter on average anyway.

67. Suddenly, it's okay to look (and flirt).
68. It's easier to focus on your career and your dreams.
69. You're the only person who gets to decide if you "need to make more money."
70. The only mood swings you have to deal with are your own.
71. There are a lot of lonely and violently psychopathic people out there.
72. You don't have to change your religious beliefs one bit.
73. There are 6.5 Billion other fish in the sea. That's 6,500 x 1 million. Yeah.
74. Porn is cheaper, easier, and comes in more varieties.
75. The toilet seat only moves when you move it.
76. Cohabitation is legal, fun, and less of a hassle than marriage.
77. You don't have to deal with someone else's kids all the time.
78. Divorce is pricey.
79. You don't have to deal with "compliment fishing."
80. Fewer minutes spent with a phone attached to your ear.
81. No endless nagging.
82. You never have to answer the phone "right now!"
83. You can drink what you want, where you want, and as much as you want.
84. No doubts or worries about someone sleeping around.
85. Things stay where you put them.
86. You can meditate and have your quiet time when you need it.
87. The only thing whining about not being fed is your cat.
88. You can take out the trash when you feel like it.
89. You can shower or bathe when you want, as often as you want, for as long as you want.
90. You can even leave the door open when you shower.
91. The longer you wait, the better you know yourself, instead of someone else.
92. Children learn how to treat themselves by watching how you treat yourself.
93. A bad relationship is like a lingering knife wound- it continues to ruin your whole day.
94. You can be as eccentric as you want.
95. Your car can be as dirty or unusual or artistic as you want.
96. You decide how long it takes to get ready.
97. Say goodbye to heartache, dumping, and being dumped.
98. You get your weekends for you and your projects.
99. You can be the wild friend with all the really juicy stories.
100. You can still get laid. Maybe even more often. Certainly with more variety.
101. Being single and staying single isn't selfish. It should be seen as putting your happiness first (Where it should be.)

Don't Give Up

Email by Shirley Arbollente.

Don't give up.....

One day I decided to quit...

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I t ook very good care of them.

I gave them light.

I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth.

Its brilliant green covered the floor.

Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.

And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the

bamboo. He said.

"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.

But I would not quit.

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would

not quit." He said.

"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared

to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".

"I would not quit on the bamboo.

I will never quit on you."

"Don't compare yourself to others."

He said.

"The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.

Yet they both make the forest beautiful."

"Your time will come", God said to me.

"You will rise high"

"How high should I rise?"

I asked.

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and brought back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. Never, Never, Never Give up.

For the Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.

Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,

tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

 

 

 

Heavens door open this morning, God asked me...

"My CHILD, what can I do for you?"

And I said, "Daddy, please protect and bless the one reading this message."

God smiled and answered, "Request granted."

This message is now in your hands.

What will YOU do with it?

send this to at least 10 people so they too will have their lives in God's

hands You never know when GOD is going to bless you!! Good things happen when you

least expect them to !!!

Joke Time!!

Email sent by Paul John Mamiit.

Juan: Tay , hindi ako maka score sa syota ko dahil sa panty
Nya may nakalagay na “NO TRESPASSING, PRIVATE
PROPERTY”.
Tatay: Eh di lagyan mo yung brief mo ng “MMDA DEMOLITION
TEAM”!
____________________________________

Hating gabi, hot si Misis. Haplos nya ilong ni Mister,
kiniliti nya leeg saka bulong ng malambing sa tenga:
Misis: Love, wala na ako panty!
Mister: Ha? Sige, matulog ka na, bukas ibibili kita!
______________________________

Pedro: May ka-eyeball ako mamaya. Ano kaya itsura nya?
Kasi sabi nya, may kamukha daw siyang celebrity
na SH ang simula ng name.
Juan: Jackpot ka, Pedro! Baka SHaron or SHeryl!
(matapos ang eyeball, umuwi si Pedro)
Juan: Kumusta eyeball mo? Bakit ka malungkot?
Pedro: SHrek ang bruha!
_____________________________

An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts, so the
driver happily munches the m. Every five minutes, she
gives him a handful more peanuts.
Driver: Why don’t you eat the m yourself?
Old Lady: I can’t chew. Look, I have no teeth.
Driver: Then, why did you buy the m?
Old Lady: Oh, I just love the chocolate around the m!
_____________________________

Doctor talking to a mental patient.
Doc: Magaling ka na pala kasi sinagip mo kaibigan
mo na nalulunod. Kaya lang, nagbigti siya sa CR.
Patient: Hindi po doc, sinabit ko siya dun para matuyo!

Q. Ano ang pagkakaiba ng kurtina at panty?
A. Ang kurtina, pag ibinaba, tapos na ang show!
Ang panty, pag ibinaba, “showtime na”!
____________________________________


Juanito: Ang gulo talaga ng buhay ko!
Paeng: May gugulo pa bas a buhay ko? Tingnan mo,
yung pinakasalan kong biyuda, may dalagitang
anak. Pinakasalan naman ni Itay yung dalagita.
Eh di lumalabas na Nanay ko sya ngayon at si
Itay ay anak ko! Ang asawa ko naman ay
biyenan ni Itay. Nang magkaanak sila nung dalagita,
ako naman ang Lolo ng kapatid ko! Ang gulo!
_______________________________

Dalawang bungi nag-aasaran:
Badong: Pare, ganda ng ngipin mo ah! Parang exams!
Dodong: Bakit naman?
Badong: 1 seat apart! Hahaha. . .
Dodong: Ikaw din naman ah, kasama din sa exam eh!
Badong: Bakit?
Dodong: Fill in the blanks!
____________________________________

Nasusunog ang sinehan:
Guard: Mam, ditto po kayo dumaan!
Babae: Anong palagay mo sa akin tanga!
Hoy, FIRE EXIT yan!
Dyan lalabas ang apoy!
____________________________________

Sa Bakery:
Pulubi: Ate, palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba , sosyal ka! Hihinga ka na nga lang, cake pa!
O, eto ang pandesal!
Pulubi: DuH! Ate, birthday ko kaya today!
___________________________________

PROMDI: Alam kong promdi ako kaya huwag mo ako
lolokohin. Bakit ganito ang kwarto ko?
Maliit, wala pa kama at bintana?
ROOMBOY: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang tayo.
Huwag kang excited!

___________________________________

After 50 years...
Urbana: Mare, how's your sexlife?
Dolores: Well, sa age ni pare mo, MUKHA na lang ang nagagalit, BALAHIBO na lang ang tumatayo at UBO na lang ang matigas.###
___________________________________
 

Job interview...
Boss: Ano ang alam mo?
Rommel: Alam ko po kung saan kayo nakatira ng misis mo, at kung saan nakatira ang kabit mo.
Boss: Tanggap ka na!
_____________________________________

Mister: Kung gagawa ako ng pelikula, gusto ko, ako si ZORRO!
Misis: Eh ako, sino?
Mister: Si DACOS!
Misis: Dacos? Sino 'yun!
Mister: DA COS of all my ZORROs!

__________________________________

Tomas: Sobrang tabatsoy na ang misis ko kaya gusto niyang magbawas ng timbang. Nag-horseback riding siya...
Jorge: Ano'ng resulta?
Tomas: Nabawasan ng 10 kilos 'yung kabayo!
____________________________________

Ama: Kumusta ang pag-aaral mo?
Anak: Nag-lesson at test po kami tungkol sa mga manok.
Ama: Ano, madali ba?
Anak: Chicken na chicken!
Ama: Anong grade mo?
Anak: Itlog po.

___________________________________

Dalawang holdaper sa bangko...
Holdaper #1: Yehey! Mayaman na tayo!
Holdaper #2: Bilangin mo na!
Holdaper: Gago! Alam mo namang mahina ako sa math. Abangan na lang natin sa balita kung magkano!  

_____________________________________

Guro: What is 34 books + 25 books?
Pilo: 59 books po.
Guro: Good. Ang 18 + 29 + 30 books?
Pilo: 77 books.
Guro: Very good. Now, what is 950 + 136 + 672 + 490 + 854 books?
Pilo: Ma'am, library po!

______________________________________

Pasyente: Okey ba ang services sa ospital na ito?
Doktor: Oo naman. Sigurado 'yon.
Pasyente: Paano kung hindi ako satisfied?
Doktor: Ibabalik namin ang sakit mo.  

Important Points

Email sent by VARSHA LALWANI.